I Grieved My Own Evolution
Creative Block → 054
Creative Block is a newsletter that gives you a glimpse into my life, creativity, design, and music. It's like a little pick-me-up that you get delivered straight to your inbox.
I used to make a poster every day.
Every single day. It was my rhythm. My way of saying I was here without using words. People knew me for it. Some days I think they woke up just to see what I made that morning.
Now I make one every few months. And it’s fine honestly, it’s been sitting heavy on me.
Because somewhere between the clothing drops, the home goods, the late nights, the diapers..it’s like I blinked and that daily rhythm was jgone. I didn’t quit it. Life just grew bigger around it.
And I miss it. There was something sacred about one canvas, one idea, one hour. Done.
What messes with me most is wondering about you (not sure if it’ good or bad thing). The people who found me through those posters and those who shared them, printed them, sent them to a friend going through something. I wonder if you feel like I left. Like I traded the Poster art to design products. Physical products in my shop like jackets,T-shirt pillow cases, vases (Walmart Collection) etc. things people can wear and touch.
I’ve been sitting with that tension. Can you grieve something you chose? Can you miss a version of yourself you outgrew on purpose?
I think you can. I think that’s what growth actually feels like from the inside. Not triumphant. Just sometimes complicated.
Evolution isn’t erasure. The poster maker is still in here. He’s just also a father, a builder, a product designer now. All of it comes from the same place… the need to make something that makes people feel something.
Maybe the poster comes when it’s ready now and not on a schedule like before, but when something is worth saying. Maybe the people who were always really for me weren’t just following the posters. They were following the heart behind them.
I’m choosing to believe that.
You're not a different person. You're a fuller one.
Growth doesn't erase where you came from.
It just proves you were always meant to go further.
CALL TO ACTION:
Have you ever felt this tension of missing who you were while still being proud of who you’re becoming? Leave a Comment. I read every one.
1000% felt. I’m grateful that you happened upon this grief and circumstance didn’t force it upon you.
Absolutely, how can I grieve something I’ve never actually cultivated. Creativity is ingrained in me but I hose to poor that into my children and ministry. I missed out on that side of myself. In my 50s feels too late. Anyway, I see you and love the evolution. A fitness influencer said you have to release the old you to build the new.