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Great thoughts Temi - I always tell myself: “Validation is for parking meters, not people.”

It's an identity issue - I just wrote a bit on LinkedIn about some of this.

While it's easier than ever to be “seen” - that doesn't mean the work of cultivating confidence and conviction became easier.

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May 22, 2023Liked by Temi Coker

this + the celsius i drank this morning + the Word i listened to on my commute to work + my morning workout gave me all the fuel i needed to dominate this monday.

thank you for the authenticity in how you shared this message. comparison trulyyyy is the thief of joy and the reality is we be trapping ourselves when we doomscroll down our feeds mindlessly for HOURS. social media is entirely neutral at its core (in my opinion) and we have the authority to choose how our feeds look even in the midst of advertising and algorithms. that said, we really gotta be aware of what it is we’re allowing ourselves to consume on a regular basis.

i’m glad i developed the maturity over the years to interact with social media in a healthier way NOW. i deleted my twitter account completely (knowing that it brings out the worst in me) and my ig feed is filled with loved ones, people who inspire me, recipes, workout tips, beauty tutorials, and design inspo. not a gossip blog in sight, i be missing EVERYTHING (and missing nothing at the same time, bc celebrity drama is meaningless). then there’s bereal., my fav soft life social media app where i make it a point to interact with every single one of my friend’s posts on my feed. bc why not? it’s such a simple app!

saying all this to say, as a millennial, i think social media is a beautiful tool to connect us and share stories/ideas from all parts of the world. i love it, and cultivating a healthy relationship with it takes awareness, maturity, and intentionality.

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Deactivated my personal instagram and deleted the app since January and honestly I don't miss a thing. Social media feels like a stage where we're performing for people who don't know or necessarily 'like' us. And those who really care will still be in our lives, social media or not.

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I recently found your substack as a recommendation, and I am so grateful I got in before this publication so that I could read it in the intimacy of my inbox. These thoughts and questions you shared have literally been in my notes app, Instagram captions, and even as recent as an Instagram story rant I shared on our creative studio account. Instagram has changed so so much, our relationship to it, what we seek, and the narcissism of it all has gotten out of hand and I related so so much to your thoughts. How much we seek validation from social media, and how as creatives we've been seeking this sense of "enoughness" through vanity metrics on social, when before we got together to give each other critiques, maybe sent it to friends whose opinions we valued... we've gotten so disconnected to the actual humans and the actual reason behind why we create. We are artists, imagine if the greatest artists of past generations let themselves stop creating because a couple of people told them they sucked, or because nobody showed up to their art exhibit, most of them barely even got an exhibit until after their death!!! jaja that was another rant but I just wanted to thank you for this post. I am going to find you on IG now as well :) xx

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